funnel of no choice

when i say yes! at my wedding, it doesn't necessarily mean mean i am acting as a free subject. it's a common trope that bride or groom having second thoughts before mere minutes before the ceremony. but does this mean that partners are marrying against their will?

marriage is not something that can be reduced to the act of saying "i do" in front of others. whole deal consists of multiple milestones: proposal, announcement, organization, celebration.

partners put themselves into a funnel of choices. although their participation may completely be voluntary, choices in the funnel are usually forced onto them.

(this is also why, in my experience, best productivity hack is to subordinate yourself to a process which you are willing to participate in but once you enter your freedom is stripped away)